Christmas 2011

I got a suprising long weekend for the holiday than originally planned, but didn't find out early enough so that I could've bought tix to go home. Oh well.  So I ended up having Fri to Tuesday off.  I spent Friday grocery shopping for the Christmas dinner and boy were the lines there long and slow.  It seemed like everyone was there with a big basket full of food.  I didn't have that much so I stood in self check out line but the ladies checking out were really slow, it's almost like they didn't know how to use the machine. They kept having the help sign flashing and I think it took them 20min to finish from what I saw but they've  already finished 3/4 then.  Ridiculous.

On Saturday, Christmas Eve, I made the dinner. Menu was Slow cooker turkey, Mexican corn, green bean casserole and mashed potatoes.  Other people brought drinks and desserts.  It was good.  I would have to tweaked the green bean casserole for the next time and make less of mashed potatoes.  The Mexican corn was a keeper and that's the only new recipe for my experiment.  Nonetheless, my first Christmas dinner!


Spent the rest of Saturday chatting and watching TV with the girlfriend that stayed over.  All good times.

Sunday was Christmas and we had breakfast, eggnog waffle, then went to Parkside's service.  Made me realized how much I actually missed going to church.  It felt soothing to be there. There came home and had left over for lunch.

We did make plans to go to Crocker Park on Monday for lunch and shopping but come Monday, just didn't feel like it. I just felt like vegging out so I did for Monday and Tuesday.  It was a lot of time spent on my couch just chilling out and watching TV, saw a few Christmas movies.

Christmas Movies List:
Polar Express
Miracle of 34th Street
Home Alone series

Ca 1 year update

This is just a quick update of life in residency since July, starting my Ca 1 year.  This is the year where I'll start spending my time in the ORs.  It's been good so far, some routine cases and some crazier ones.  Calls have been good, busy during daytimes but question whether surgical teams really know the definition of emergency.  I've had a couple true emergency but most of the cases during weekend calls were not really emergency.  Definitely learned a little about other subspecialty areas that will get more in depth next year.

No complaints overall, enjoying my time being busy at times.  Only wish I could figure out reading daily after being exhausted from work and also squeezing time for exercising and doctors' appts.

Thanksgiving 2011

This year was very low-key. I spent it with a family that I met not too long ago and the wife, Melissa, is also my endocrinologist.  I didn't have to work the day of and had very light day before and after. We just had dinner and just chatted about random things.   Also got to play with their 2 little girls, absolutely adorable. They are definitely a family that I don't mind hanging out with again.  Dinner was actually yummy. They had their food delivered from a grocery store and all they did was heated up.  The cranberry sauce, mashed potato, turkey and stuffing were good.  Corn souffle was a maybe but the green bean was a no.  But it was still enjoyable cuz of the company.

The one thing I was happy was that I finally get to make another apple pie, except this time, I changed it to crumbled and used a combination of granny smith and fuji apples. It was yummy. Friends at dinner enjoyed it too. It wasn't too sweet but it definitely needed another apple in the mix.

Grand Cayman

Spent a week on the island.  It was my vacay before the dreary winter starts.  This was the end of the rainy season but before the tourist season.  It was as wonderful as I expected.  There were good and bad days.  The week started off rainy but we got good walks on the beach in, good time just reading and doing nothing but relaxing and getting re-acquainted with each other again.  The sunny days were spent on the beach, island tour and also sting ray city/sandbar with snorkeling.  The nights were spent having yummy food (totaly sabotaged my diet, oh well) and alcholic beverages and hanging out at the beach bar next door.  Mudslides became the drink of choice most of the time and definitely learn that me and Irish Bailey's and whiskey really don't agree, found a Ben Stiller look alike as bartender, getting some creative free drinks. Also participated in a hypnosis show one night, one of those things that I'm not sure I'll do again.  Of course, we went to Hell.  :)

The girls were great, caught up with Kirstin and Krista and got to know Gretchen (Kirstin's childhood friend).  I think by the end of the trip, we agreed that we should totally do something like this again.  I think the talk is somewhere close for next year and possibly Cuba the year after.  So far just talks, we'll see how much of it will come true.

Here's some pics

Beloved Grandmother

I feel like I should feel more about my grandmother's passing but I don't.  Then I started thinking about the reason behind it. I realized that I was never particularly close to her, unlike the way I was with my mom's mom.  I think by the time that I had any consistent relationship with her I was already in high school and that was the time when we had more problems with my dad's side.  I'm sure she was proud of all her grandkids but I could who she favors more and that she wants to know more about their lives.  Part of it was also my fault in that I just didn't open up to her.  I understand it's a quirky trait of mine that it's hard for me to open up to people.  She lived a long life where she did a lot of amazing things, opened up herself to enjoy life.  That's the one thing I'll always remember her for.

Rest in peace, ma-ma.

passed Oct 13, 2011
wake Oct 21, 2011
funeral Oct 22, 2011

English Obituary

Chinese Obituary

First month as Ca-1

First month of GenA, straight out of orientation with 3 months of gap away from anesthesia.

Wow, What a month!!  The first week was like a deer in the headlight for me.  I gotta figure out what it going on and where is what since everything is pretty new. Boy, was I nervous for being on my own.  There's almost no hand holding, it's pretty much sink or swim.  I'm glad I have the personality of just letting everything flow and see where all things go and arrange it as it fits then.  Otherwise, I would be super duper stressed.  The first week, cases weren't that extreme but then they scheduled me a couple of times to the ambulatory center where it's a different system.  It's like starting to adjust and gotta re-adjust again.

Throughout the month, I got some days that are difficult in the sense that the cases and patients were more complicated.  They had me do craniotomy scheduled, whipple and stroke (on-call).  It's been a fast learning curve.  I was just happy that on those days, my staff were nice and more than willing to teach and lend a hand.

Got 4 calls for the month.  It's not bad at all cuz our calls right now fall under the new intern rule where it can't be more 16hrs of work day.  I'm also generally a white cloud and the bad calls would usually consist of being busy early on then when it's bedtime, it's quiet. So generally I get almost a good night sleep with hours. But we all know that we usually are still in the light sleep where we have an ear out for our pager going off.

Home for the holiday/wedding

I finally got to go home to Cali and it has been over a year.  The last time was right after graduation.  The vacation started off with going to my cousin's wedding.  It was a beautiful wedding, fairly extravagant with all the work and pomp, but at the same time very homey cuz they had people from church help them.  The reception was very elaborate as well.

Rhys & Flora Wedding

Had a good time. But for my own wedding, I'm more for something smaller and simpler.  This is just too much work, even for me attending it. But nonetheless, it was beautiful and elegant.

The rest of my time was spent at home, just enjoying my parents and my goofy brother.

ResCU

Just finished the month of ResCU.  It's a special unit where people who needed a little longer time to get off the vent completely.  Patients usually either had lung transplant or some underlying lung disease.  Some of them has been in the hospital for months.  There's one on our list that has been here since Oct.  The most painful part of it all is writing discharge summary for them when they leave either to LTAC or rehab.  Because of the length of time that they stay in the hospital and that sometimes you would spend the month taking care of them, you get attached, especially the younger ones cuz you know that they have a better chance to leave the hospital walking.

Overall, it's a good rotation to learn about the ventilator since patients are usually long term with not much of acute issues going on.  Everyday is pretty much the same with minor adjustment for work.

freaky little pic

If you wear glasses, just take off your glasses.

Feeling of Cleveland ... 1st year

This has definitely been my most miserable year.  The job/work has been ok, most of the time I actually enjoy my work.  The part of my life that's been a downer is the living in Cleveland part.

This all started with the fact I moved to Cleveland for residency and that was not my top choice, so in my mind, I didn't fully accept the decision probably until October that I'm here for 4 years. I was in denial in May and June when I first moved out here, but I still went out trying to have fun and meet other interns.  I didn't really find anyone that I clicked with or people that I would like to hang out away from the hospital. By October, the winter has arrived already with the gloomy gray skies.  What I was not expecting was the lack of sun for the entire winter and that the entire winter goes from mid October to April. I knew that I've SAD but I didn't know that I would be in the worst depression that I've every experienced.  I changed my vitamin to get more vit D, but it irritated my stomach, so I had to change it again.  My mood didn't change much.

The fact that I was working over the holidays didn't help, so I went to visit Kirstin.  That help a little but it only made me realize that I really don't belong here in Cleveland.  Other residents say that Cleveland would grow on you, but I really don't think it ever will.  At this, I met Angel and really got to know her as she's going through hard times, so that kind of gave me a different focus, but it didn't last long for my attention span.  I soon got mildly annoyed with her problem, but she was someone that I clicked with.  She was applying for CRNA school and got accepted to one in Florida, which she will be going in Dec if all goes well.  So I'm already trying to distance myself, not getting too attach so I won't be too disappointed when she leaves.

Then I got sucked into the SICU, which was even more depressing with the work load, call schedules and just the ICU madness.  I'm feeling down is not really work related, it's more due to the fact that I don't have anyone in Cleveland that checks up on when I don't show up to church or small groups in a while or someone for me to fall back on to just talk or rant.  I visited Kirstin again this time, and I could tell the difference, I was much more quieter with her, not my usual loud crazy self.  I then realize that this can't keep going.

Now, I'm at the point where I'm very close to asking someone from work to write me a Rx for wellbutrin for short term to just fight this off.  I also got to talking to Eddy and David, so hopefully I'll be able to find a relief through them.  I just feel frustrated with the low moods that I'm feeling, most of the time, I just want to sleep more, and eat more of my comfort food.

I really want to beat this. Please God, help me.

Mini vacay

 2 days before leaving, I ended up buyin plane ticket for $240, which is now almost unheard of, so I was like what the heck, it'll get me there fast enough without driving and also a day earlier to spend with Kirstin.
And off I go!!

New York

The first night/day I got there was mostly spent just catching up.  We ended up shopping a little for some going out clothes for Kirstin, got her a couple outfits that she can swap the tops and bottoms.  Just very laid back, hanging out.

Atlantic City

We then head out to AC and stayed at the Showboat.  It is still pre-season so the boardwalk was not fully opened yet. We managed to catch some sunset on the boardwalk beach.  The beach was not very pretty but I enjoyed it nonetheless, being that it's ocean, has sun and not Cleveland.



Atlantic City beach on boardwalk

Dinner was at Celine's cafe, a quaint little place that serve sandwiches and full meals.  We had calamari and I had the coconut shrimp.  Talk about yummy and delish.  Anyways, we took a walk down the boardwalk, think walked about 3 miles after the food, then play the slots machine.  I of course didn't win anything, only lost $10.  Kirstin actually won $30 before she was tempted by more slots to play more.  She ended up being even.

We then drove to Brigantine Beach by AC, and it was gorgeous.  The sand was prettier and just got the feel of summer beach vacay.  The beach houses there are cute, the total cape cod beach house style.  We then sort of fell asleep on the beach for about 1hr and definitely got burned.  Lunch was at Nazim's Indian buffet, good, not too Americanized.

Brigatine Beach

Philly

Got to Kirstin and Mike's house in the afternoon, pizza for dinner and pool and hot tub the rest of the night.  Had a little time to catch up with Krista as she just finished her PE. Then met Amy and Guston, Mike's sister and brother-in-law, and their lovely "moose".  We just hung out at the house mostly, going down the real water slide and diving board, hot tub.

New York

My last night on Saturday, we head to rooftop lounge/bar on 230 5th.  It's got great views but definitely a little too high end for regular night out.  It's a great place for special nights outings.  It was fun though, really wished I could have met Frank and Jonathan, Kirstin's NY crazy residents.

Of course, for my flight back, Chicago has thunderstorm and tornado warning and I would have missed my connection even with all the delays, so I opt to stay an extra night with Kirstin.

By the time I left, I just felt lost, I didn't want to come back to Cleveland.  It's almost a dreaded feeling that Cleveland is now my home for a few years.  Definitely not happy here and can't wait til residency is over and I could look foward to move to the coast.

SICU ... hmm

It's been a long 2 months ... 14 calls total with some crazy things interspersed.

SICU environment is one where there's a steep learning curve on everything, ventilation, acute management, putting out fires overnight.  I enjoyed the learning environment, all the staff and fellows are more than willing to teach.  There are a few stories I've got on the seniors that I was on call with.

I'm sure there's always a senior where everything has problems with.  And this one is driving everything nuts.  He has a military background and very much into hierarchy.  It's interesting how he fits in with other anesthesiologists as the people in the field is more laid back, less uptight about the whole medicine hierarchy.  Also I'm not really sure how much clinical knowledge he's got.  He's gotten into some trouble over some things that he's done, like starting insulin drip less than 24hrs after a pancreas transplant.  The nurses did not like him as well so that makes life for me at night a little more difficult.  The nurses will try their best to get around him and find me for things but because I'm an intern, there are some things that I still have to get an ok from him.  Also at times, he would like to teach at 2-3am and I'm like, I'm exhausted and nothing he teach will stay with me. So don't waste anyone's time and just move on.  Boy, am I glad that this is done.  I feel bad for the other intern who was on call with him a couple of times.  He really walked over her, more so than me.  I just don't let anyone walk over me, especially major things.  I also got yelled at by one of the staff when one of his patient went into Afib and find that her electrolytes needed replacement all day, which was not done. 

The second month was not much better.  The first month was actually fun cuz we would prank page each other, talk about other things outside of hospital, in general, we just get along better.  The second month, people were just not as friendly and I find it harder to talk to them about random things.  On top of that there's also another senior who was not fun to work with.  She a little more hands off and disappears throughout the night.  Also during daytime, she would sign out a bit of things to do to the night time. 

I definitely know that when I become a senior, what not to do.

At the end, I just felt like I have been holed up in the ICU dungeon and have absolutely no idea what else is happening with anyone else.  I'm glad that I'm done with ICU until my 3rd year.  Also realized that I'm not a critical care person as I was getting really tired of the medicine that has become more like the floor.  So that's definitely one fellowship I have ruled out.

Food ... last 2 months

I haven't stopped eating out to try places despite my somewhat crazy schedule.  The reviews might be out of order but there they are.

South Side
Went there twice.  First time was brunch and I had chicken and waffle.  Before you say gross, it is very yummy despite the sound of it.  I remembered the first time I had chicken and waffle was Roscoe's in LA, I was grossed out by it too until I took my first bite.  It's soo good that you can feel you arteries clogging up. South Side was just as good, crispy chicken and waffle with maple syrup and cinnamon butter.  Totally recommend it.  The second time I went for late night dinner and ordered Grilled Eggplant Capresa sandwich with Fried Portabella.  The sandwich was made with fresh mozzarella and the portabella was fresh too. mouthwatering.  The atmosphere was great too, very friendly, great place for just hanging out, time with girlfriends.

Chinato
Went there on a Friday nite for dinner.  Not impressed at all.  The portion was ok but pricey.  The flavor is just not there.  It wasn't anything special.  Whatever I ordered, it didn't make a lasting impression.  The atmosphere was ok, a little loud, maybe it's because people were eating there prior to bars.

Sushi Rock - Beachwood
It's very modern for a Japanese cuisine.  The menu is very fusion like and the decor portrayed that too.  It would be a good date night too.  I had the Golden dragon roll and my girlfriend had the sushi rock tempura roll.  They are both good.  Very well made, it's comparable to the ones I've had in Cali.  I also had the lobster bisque.  It's a little weakness of mine, lobster bisque and pumpkin bisque, always gotta try them if the restaurants have them.  The soup was a little too salty but huge portion.  The calamari appetizer looked good too, I think I would get that next time too.  I would come again but it won't be the top sushi place, it's a little too fusion for Japanese cuisine.

Pacific East - Eaton Village
Yummy!!  It's got good sushi, no doubt.  Even now, I can totally go back and eat more.  They've got good size portion, especially if you ordered the bento box/combo.  The flavor is there with the raw fish and they've got some good combo and some with their own added twist.  Can't wait to try the one here in Coventry.

Melange
Eh. Not enough flavor.  I had the lobster mac and cheese and something just didn't taste right.  It's got a taste of seafood not clean or not cooked proper.  I could smell and taste the fishiness.  It's definitely got the Midwest portion,  I had enough for another 2 meals and when I heat up the leftover, there was so much oil.  gross.  definitely not coming.

The Mad Greek
It's my 2nd trip.  Love the place.  It's a great little Mediterranean restaurant, family owned but large enough to not be hole in the wall.  It's fancier than Taza and a little more formal.  The food, oh my, delish. The first time I ordered the gyro and the second time I had chicken souvlaki.  They were both yummy. It's not too salty and there were both refreshing, exactly what I would imagine Greek cuisine would be like.

Aladdin - across from Mad Greek
Aladdin's Flavor special is cheap and good.  Totally would be something I would be ordering takeout, which I already did.  Their hot sauce is something, it's tart, pepper spicy and a hint of sweetness too.  I know, usually I don't eat beef but for this I made an exception.  They did well, very juicy and flavorful.  Even the rice was good too.  None of it tasted too oily and it's light too.  The atmosphere is very casual, very collegiate like.  It reminds of the restaurants in Westwood when I was at UCLA.

Blake's Seafood - Crocker Park
We just had a good day and just decided to stop in for dinner. I had Garlic Crusted Haddock.  The fish was cooked nicely and it had the richness that the haddock has.  The place is like a steakhouse environment that serves mostly seafood.  It has the very Western flavor in the decor but at the same time it feels like there's a little class.  Dunno if I would come back for seconds.

Wow, after all this, realized I ate a lot.  I'm sure there's going to more later .... :)

orientation to ORs

Spent the last 2 months getting to know the OR and getting a taste of how the rest of 3 yrs here in Cleveland is going to be like.  I actually really enjoyed it, may be because everything was new to me.  I had to refresh and re-learn everything that I have already learned during 4th year.

The environment is adrenaline based for a short period of time and then it would quiet down until other burst of excitement that needed to temper down.  Everything is very much about being prepared ahead of time and to anticipate of any problems that might arise.  This totally feeds my neurotic need for control. Haha.  I'm finding that this was a very good choice for me and my personality.  It's funny how we end up in a field that matches our personality to the T.

The only thing that put a damper in my 2 months is that I won't be in the ORs until July, so hopefully by then, I won't forget everything.  :)  But I'm definitely looking forward to the GenA months where I have a little more freedom to learn how to sink and swim.

Me vs My profession

As I was walking in from the garage to the hospital's locker room to change, I started thinking about being perceived as a physician from appearance and thinking myself as one. I'm still struggling with that even now after several months of residency and years of med school prep.

The biggest problem for me is that I don't feel like I'm a physician and that I'm too young for this kind of job, but in reality, most people my age has already been working for several years. My thing is that I actually don't want my first impression with people to be a physician, so I tend to dress fairly casual most of the time, not grungy. I only tell people what I do when I'm asked specifically. It's a ingrained in me since high school that I don't tell people exactly what I do right away because my own extended family has gotten jealous before and would try to put me down.  This is just what I do to protect myself but in a way I think that's just silly as well.  I am confident in what I do but it's just I don't want to come off as intimidating to new people that I meet.  Truthfully, my being a female physician does seem to intimidate a lot of people that I have come across.  I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm usually pretty quiet with new people too.

Someone once asked me if I would do this again.  Maybe, especially with this environment with the healthcare system.  Now more and more the careers of NP, PA ad CRNA seem to be good options as well. But I don't think I'm willing to give up my right to power and in control of my career. So truthfully, to choose this career again would need to give me a huge incentive.  Sometimes I just find it not worth the years, effort and debt I put in to, but most of the times, it's a fairly satisfying career.  We shall see where God leads me with the career.

Nighttown ... Taza

So after a day of fellowship and small group workshop at Parkside with Angel and Eric, we went to Nighttown in the Cedar/Fairmount area for their burgers.  We each got our own.  I had blue cheese with mine and we all had mayo (which I believed it house made) with our fries.  It was good, delish, and juicy. I asked for medium well and mine was slightly overcooked.  Angel's was perfectly done for medium well, which should still be slight pink but with no raw juice running out.  Nonetheless, it is good place for bar burger.  Just as we were leaving, they are packed in the sit down area, which I think it's expensive, high end menu, not really my regular fare.  I would definitely come back for a quick bit of burger.  The ambience is very homey, jazzy feel.

On Sunday, after church, we ate at Taza, Lebanese grill.  With Mediterrean restaurants, I always order either gyros or vegetarian cuz they usually have the best vegetarian meals around.  So I did the same today, ordered the vegetarian feast with hummous, baba, tabouli and falafel with pita breads. They served the pita bread first with their homemade dipping sauce (balsamic vingerette, olive oil and sesame seeds).  They have the normal pita and their own pita which they call it puffy pita (poufs up like naan but with yeast).  It was a good pita, wish I could buy in a store. The portion was huge. They only thing I picked on them was that the baba was slightly saltier than I would have liked.  But otherwise, the meal was very light and refreshing.

Parkside small group workshop

Parkside held a workshop on small group, how to lead and participated in one.

The first session was about the basics of small group, the purpose of one and the basis of one.  Purpose of small group is simple, receive Christ as Lord and live with Christ as Lord.  To receive Christ is what it means, salvation to conversion to trust Christ.  Small group should do that for unbelievers because of the teaching that transformed lives.  To live with Christ is the daily relationship with Christ.  This is the fundamentals of the small groups, building relationship to promote the purpose of small group.

The second session was on essentials of small group, which should be Gospel centered and small group should be learning from Bible, praying together, serving each other, evangelism and disseminating information.  Gospel should the main ingredient of the small group and it should direct us how to live our lives.  Small group should not be special interests focus among the members since it can very easily excluder new comers.

The last session was the practical application of leading small group.  The leader should lead the small group to be a faithful shepherd and be a humble servant.  Seek out unbelievers (the lost sheep) and serve each other in the small group.  Then we had an exercise where we each have a role who are difficult to handle in small group.  It just goes to show that even with people that are disruptive within the group, a good leader can turn it to good and enhance the dynamics of the group. Then the finally onto the basic structure of small group and pearls of wisdom.

This workshop really remind me that I need to find my own small group of girls and have weekly meeting where open up ourselves and have each of us hold accountable.  It has been since college that I have been in a true small group.  Throughout med school, it's only been Kirstin that has really been there for me.  So far in Cleveland, it's only been Angel and a little with Sarah.  I'm praying that I'll be better plugged in at Parkside here and find my own niche with my own group to hold me accountable.  I'm finding that since I've been going to Parkside, I'm having more of burning desire to better my relationship with God and wanting to read and know about Him through Bible.

We met Rosa who sat with us at our table.  She regaled us with stories on relationships with what she had seen and experienced.  It was very informative.  She was the first person that have treated me like a daughter since I've moved to Cleveland.  I hope I'll find more older ladies that are willing to be my "mother".

B Spot

One of Michael Symon's 3 restaurants, very casual burger spot.

It was one of those days where I finished work earlier and I went without lunch. So I decided to go to B Spot for a burger.  I ordered Shroomage and Lola fries. The burger has a huge portabella mushroom with some cheese and onions on top of the burger.  The patty is not one of those thin ones, it was meaty, thick patty.  It was just a little too salty for me.  I added their pickled onions and pepper and their red pepper sauce.  Very good gourmet burger.  The Lola fries is okay, not my favorite. It just wasn't crunchy enough but it did have good rosemary flavor.

I have yet to try the vanilla bacon apple shake.  I have been told that it is good despite it's weird name.  We shall see.  It's definitely one to go back when I get my occasional burger craving.

::Transit::

Parkside's large group mostly for young adults. I've been wanting to try out the fellowship since the first time I've visited Parkside.  My only issue is that it's on Wed night and with my work schedule, a lot of the times, I'm really exhausted by dinner time and I would passed out sleeping on my couch.

So this week, I've finally made it since I wasn't feeling sleepy at all.  I got there and I got a surprise. Vince was there too. Totally was not expecting another Asian there, especially someone I know. The service was good.  Worship was thoroughly touching especially when I connect more with music.  I totally feel like it's some place where I can stay and sing my heart out for worship.

The message was short but thorough.  Now they are going through John. It's such a good reminder of who Jesus is and what he did for us to save us from the world.  I just wish if the message was just slightly longer, maybe 10-15min, but overall it was still very refreshing for a midweek service.

I'm going to try really hard to make it on Wed nite and try to meet more people there and get plugged in.  My goal for the year is to get plugged in.

Birthday weekend ...

Weekend arrived thinking that I just might end up spending my birthday by myself again. But Lord was great, provided me company so I'm not lonely and actually develop deeper friendships in Cleveland.

Started the weekend off with Le Petit Triangle Cafe for brunch with Hee-Jeong and Erika, girls I met in Chinese church but they are non-Chinese. It was good times. I don't think I have laughed as much or as hard since I've been in Cleveland.  The two of them are quite a pair.  Random thoughts connected, random comments with no filter, friendly abuse and most of all, I felt like they are people that I can have fun random hang out.  Needless to say, the food wa awesome. This is a French cafe and they have crepes, my all time favs.  I've always had chocolate crepes but decided to try their chicken cheddar chutney crepes.  Oh my, yummy to the nth power!

Later, I had my girl date with Angel at Paladar.  Its's a Latin restaurant with more of Cuban flavor.  We decided to share our dinner, which was fine by me since I had such a yummy brunch earlier.  For appetizer, we had chorizo and cheese papusa. It was good, chorizo and cheese stuffed between plantains and corn cakes with spicy tomato sauce.  You can actually taste every single flavor in it. For entree we shared the roasted chicken mole.  The chicken was tender and was served with fried plantains and mole sauce over rice.  The mole sauce was slightly different than what I have tasted before, not my very favorite but still yummy nonetheless.  For dessert, we had their flan.  Wow, that definitely was the hi-light.  It was creamy and couldn't taste the egg taste that's common with flan.  Overall, would definitely come back for other tastes.  I want to try their guacamole since they have different flavor base on the chef's inspiration.

After dinner, we went to Wickliffe bowling lane with other people from church and bowl for 3 games, as there was a special going with 3 games and shoes for $10. Let's just say, I sucked.  My highest was 89 and my scores just got progressively worse over the next 2 games.  I did have fun though, trying to learn to spin the ball. What a sight that was.  Also I came home with a broken thumb nail. Owie. Oh well, will just be 2 weeks before it'll be fixed.  Time change too, spring forward.  So tired, losing an hour of sleep, but worth it.

After Parkside church on Sunday, me and Angel went to McCormick and Schmick for lunch and Mitchell's ice cream after we walked around the mall for a little bit to see if there was anything eye catching. McCormick and Schmick's is good seafood restaurant.  I had the crab and shrimp melt, a little saltier that I would have liked but yummy, delish.  Just couldn't tell if the crab meat for fresh or canned. Mitchell's as always, just absolute dreamy.

So for my actual birthday, it was a Monday so I had to work but I did get myself my family version of traditional birthday dinner.  My family always celebrated birthday with a seafood galore with noodles, with both, it usually means more than enough blessings and longevity.  Then we would have an Asian French style cake.  So for myself, I got dinner from Wonton Gourmet (Sichuan fish and chicken pan fried noodle) and mini tiramisu cake from KoKo bakery.  It was good enough for myself but really wished I had my mom's homemade dinner.  It will have to do until I can get home to my mom's birthday dinner.

Oreintation pt 1

Started my official 1st month of anesthesia training, which is looking more like shadowing senior residents having them show us how OR is set up, the basic day to day functions and just get some basic experiences with procedures.

I had a really good senior for the first half of the month, getting me started.  He was really helpful, telling all the little bits of info that he wished someone had told before.  Then had another one that basically let me know try various techniques and procedures and having me try to be in a room by myself. With them, I had seen some crazy airway cases and icu transfers even the staff were saying that it was not a room for orienting intern. Oh well. It was fun.

Next week, we will be starting with 1 to 1 with staff and they may just leave us alone only with a little more supervision and then our own with with senior staffing 2 rooms.  Can't wait and see how well that will go.

Parkside part II

Tried out Parkside church again.  Tried it once a couple months ago, and it wasn't Alistair Beggs speaking. But I just felt a little lost and I think at the point I was hoping that the Chinese church would work out as well as the one in Jersey had for me.

This time, I really liked it.  Pastor Beggs' sermon was intense, about the sanctuary/temple which God has entrusted to us to care for.  I just haven't had an intense sermon like his in a long time, probably since my time at JMac's church when I was at UCLA.  It was totally inspiring, really want me to re-build my relationship with God and really trust Him for his plans for me here in Cleveland.  By the end of the sermon, I felt peace for the first time since moving to Cleveland.  It's almost like I have come to a place where I can see myself grow and not be anxious about what would happen next, waiting for me.

I'm going to really try to put Wed's large group into my schedule and make it a weekly thing.

ITE as PGY 1

Wow.  In-Training Exam. Felt really dumb as I walked out the room.  Oh, well, I'm glad that this is the first one and I can just keep on improving year after year.  There are some questions that I knew the answers to cuz somebody just by chance told me about it.  But realized there are so much reading to be done.

Alrighty, Jia Yo!!!

Afterwards, our program had a post ITE celebration at Bier Markt.  It was nice to see other people from other classes and to see some of the staff as well.  But there just wasn't a lot people.  And we still kind of hang out with the same people that we know.  Maybe eventually I'll get adventurous and get to know other people.

Fracas

It's a gastropub in Coventry.  I drive past it everyday to and from work and it's newly opened.  Angel and I decided to venture out and try out this place.

Let's just say, I would not come back.  The ambience is nice.  It's in an old theater with stage and they had a Jazz band playing later that night.  It's set up like what I would imagined a lounge/dinner place would be like.  The food just doesn't have the flair, nothing really spectacular.  It's the typical American fare.  We had the chips and dip for appetizer.  Props for the kettle chips but the dip was a little too ordinary and salty.  I got the pumpkin bisque which was good. I can never turn down pumpkin or squash bisque, a new habit that I've found myself liking more as I get older. For main, I got the Grouper BLT.  It's interesting but I would not get another BLT.  It mostly just taste like someone dumped a bottle of salt into the sandwich.  The grouper was slightly overcooked, not very tender.  So overall, would not visit again.

But the night was salvaged but my chatting time with Angel.  She's been busy and I have in and out of town over the holidays, so it was the first real catch.  Realized we are very similar in a lot of our choices and what we wanted in our lives.  I really hoped she would stay in Cleveland for CRNA school.  I really think that God has put us together for a reason.  She's going through a hard time and I'm just not very happy with where I am currently, just haven't really found my niche.  So with her, I'm going to make the switch to Parkside and see how it goes.  I think unintentionally, we both decide to make this weekly happening, us trying out a new restaurant.

Interesting ...

Funny thing happened this past weekend.  It was suppose to be relatively quiet with me attempting to read for my in-training exam.  Saturday night turned out to be something different.

Dinner with people I know from church but once I got to Wonton Gourmet, it wasn't only people from church but other Chinese people from other churches.  Dinner was fun, conversations were random and just plain having a good time.

After dinner, debated between bowling or hanging out at Ferdi's place.  We ended up at Ferdi's place, where I met even more Chinese people who are PhD or med students at Case.  How bizarre.  It just goes to show that us Chinese will find each other in some ways and connections go far and wide.

Wonton Gourmet is good per Midwest standard.  It's fairly authentic. Would totally warrant a next visit.

I found out that I sucked at Rockband, esp at drum. Oh well, serves me right for not being a big gaming fan until med school. Will definitely need to get into the Wii and xbox.

Taiwan / Chinese New Year

Yippee.... My first real vacation since starting residency.

Chinese New Year's Album

Of course, leaving Cleveland about 2-3 days after another snowstorm, hoping to go to DC for my connecting flight.  That did not happened.  Snowstorm is a common occurrence and I know that unless the temp freeze, airports usually keep going.  I got delayed by flight maintenence and have to switch my flight to Chicago then to Tokyo. I don't have a problem with that since international flights usually have more priority in take-offs.  Chicago airport was nice, they even have a sushi bar in the middle of the airport with floor to ceiling windows on one side.  Totally could see the area being gorgeous on good days. Met up with my brother in Tokyo for the final stretch to Taipei.  No delays at all. But it was too long of a flight.  I think the grand total flying to Taipei, it took me 22hrs to land in Taipei and another 1hr to go through customs and get my bags.  We were schedule to arrive at 10:30pm and we didn't come out until 11:30pm.  My poor aunt who was picking us up thought she missed us.  haha.  Originally, my parents would have to wait for us but they ended up being delayed so they didn't wait as long as they thought they would. :)

We got to the condo around 1am then just hang out a bit before getting ready to sleep.  The funny thing was I was exhausted, delirious but still had the energy to play to my 2nd cousin (baby of my cousin).  I even slept through most of my flight.  That shows how exhausted I was on CORS.  Baby Colin was too cute and adorable.  We definitely got lots of pics of him.

Day 1 - had our first of many family meals with my aunts and uncle and cousins and cousin-in-laws. We went to Thai/Vietnamnese buffet. It was yummy.  Totally forgot how much walking there is in Taiwan or the use of subway.  Love it better than US transport.  As you can tell, I don't like driving. Ha.  Then we met up with my mom and brother's friend, Jessica.  They met her at the last year's cultural camp back home.  I got my haircut and they went for coffee.  I just had them trim my hair and pretty much just re-shape it.  SalonBlu totally butchered it a while back.  They are not my fav but much better and cheaped that SalonBlu.  Then we all went to dinner at a Shanghai restaurant.  It was more of my mom and brother chatting with them and my dad and I were just along for the ride.  Good times.

Day 2 - It was a slow day.  We went to Taiwan style dim sum then my parents had to do their official paperwork and whatnot.  Then we went out with Kai's friend to XimenTing and other night market area.  This was the night where my parents and my aunt babysat Colin.  We were joking to see who was more tired, the adults or Colin.  The minute we opened the door, Colin crawled up to Ka-Man and started blubbering, basically complaining to us how awful the adults were to him.  It was hilarious, too bad we weren't able to capture it on camera.  At this point, I was still tired and still could sleep, but there's really not enough time to sleep.

Day 3 - New Year's Eve
We decided to go to the International Flora Expo but first I was determined that I would at least get my Taiwanese breakfast.  We went to the famous area for the soy milk, which happed to be where my mom grew up.  Yummy, definitely better than any in US and much fresher.  Even the fried stick was lighter and crisper.  Then we took the subway to the expo. As from the pics, there were many flowers.  I think I have fallen in love with the Calla lillies, Tulips and Angel in Water (Chinese narcissus or Shui Xian Hua).  The rest of the visit were just some goofy times for us.  Then we went to my oldest uncle's place for the New Year's Eve dinner.  Of course, we've got the adult and kids table, but the food was good too. The shrimps, oh my. And the homemade dumplings, handmade wraps and fillings. The best.  That's always the best of New Year for me, the dumplings.  When we were younger, my grandma would put money inside the dumplings then my mom would put peanuts and dates that would represent certain amount. Oh the fun times.

Day 4 - New Years
We went to MaoKong Gondola, which is a trail up the mountain and able to look at the Taipei from up high.  We chose the car with the clear floor so we can look down but the wait is a bit longer, so we just walked around a bit. There were some cute shops around and lots to play around.  Great for kids, but it definitely made feel stupid. Oh well.  My mom is scared of heights so part of the trip up was interesting with my mom making funny faces once whe realized that there was small window that opens up. Haha.  I think my brother broke every single rule that was posted on the ride, no standing, distribute weight evenly.  After that we went to Taipei 101.  It just basically a mall with increasing expensive shops as you move up the floors.  So went to the basement and got food to eat.  It was yummy.  That night we went to ShiLin night market.  I went before but it was not as packed as that night.  We were all literally front to back tight and just couldn't move.  It was incredible.  We pretty much ate as we walked.  My fav was the stinky tofu. But there were so many different food that we would never have been able to finish if there weren't six of us to share and try.  There was a stand that sold different flavors of squid. Everything was mouthwatering.  I ended up buying earrings, they are cute.

Day 5 - We went to visit my mom's best friend in Touyuan.  Very nice house and they also have an outdoor tub for bath. Interesting.  Overall, it was just a chill time of hanging out and meeting my mom's best friends.

Day 6 - Last Day
We went to Din Tai Fung in Sogo dept store for lunch.  It was yummy, better than the one in LA.  Colin was cracking us up.  He's just always searching for food.  His mouth would open and follow either the chopsticks or the spoon for food.  If you don't feed him fast enough, he would whine.  Too funny.  Always our source of entertainment.  We went shoe shopping in Sogo, I bought a cute sparkly pair of heels, not very high, just very casual.  Then we all just sat around waiting for dinnertime and playing with Colin.  Finally we went for our last family dinner.  Just all having a good time.  So sad to be leaving the next morning and hating packing.  The hi-light of packing was my aunt putting Colin into one of our luggage and him climbing out and trying to climb back in.  HAHAHAHA.  Classic pic.

Day 7- leaving - Chicago fiasco
Got to airport and our flight to Tokyo was delay so I missed my DC flight and have to get on the flight to Chicago.  At that point I knew there was going to be a problem coming back on time.  So no problem until I got to Chicago.  Arrived in Chicago around 2:30pm then found out flight to Cleveland was delayed until 7:30pm.  I was like ok, just going to be about 3 hrs later than expected, so I just took a nap at the airport.  Then we were told, flight is delayed until 8pm because of plane maintenence.  So I just started to watch the Super Bowl with the people on our flight.  It was entertaining cuz the personnel and half of the flight were rooting for the Steelers and the other half of flight was rooting for the Packers.  Of course, our flight was just kept being delayed with excuses of missing crew members, waiting for passengers, waiting for plane from the hangar.  So finally we boarded after the the game around 10pm, then were told that one of the pilot has only 30min left on his duty hours and if we don't take off by then, we would have to de-plane.  Well, guess what, even though we are priority for de-icing and take-off, we turned around and had to de-plane which took another hour since we were not expected to come back.  Then waited for another hour for our voucher for hotel and ticket to get on the next flight back to Cleveland.  By the time got to the room and ready to sleep it was 1am.  I had just enough battery on my phone to text my brother, send email to Debi at work and copy a friend's number to let people know at work.  That'll teach me to pack my charger in my checked bags.  So finally got back to Cleveland around 10am then had to wait to see if my bags came on the first United flight.  If not, then they would have to deliver my bags cuz it would be on the second flight, which they were.  By the time I got home, it was noon.  Time to take a nap and get ready for work the next day.  The total for the return trip was about 32hrs of flying and waiting at the airport.  Really irritated at United for the Chicago fiasco. They had more than enough time to sort it out but this had to happen.  I do believe that this might be my last trip with United if I could help it.

CORS

This was our notorious rotation where we all pretty much dread it.  The word on the street is that it's draining, do what we are told, don't think, and pretty much be ready to be yelled at.  Oh, it's a 12 + hr day 5 days a week for 4 weeks.  Thankfully, I only have it for 3 weeks before my 1st real vacay since residency.

I've got Drs Hull/Gurland service, which is a good thing in that there are usually not that many patients on the list but it's a service where every detail has to be approved by the staff and the staff has know about it. Needless to say, it was stressful for the first week, since I haven't been on a surgery rotation since as a 3rd year student and I have no idea what to expect.  On top of that, I've got a fellow who is probably one of the laziest one I've had.

The classic moment is when my fellow asked me to go down to radiology to look at CT abdomen to confirm a leak with the radiologist but I'm not surgery intern and I have no idea what to look for.  So of course, got yelled at when I reported what I was told by the radiologist. This happened 2 more times.  This should totally be something that the fellow should do because they know what other questions to ask and how to look at the scans.  It's not something a nonsurgical intern should do.  Later I found out that he should have been the one to do. Oh well, live and learn.

We were told that we do not go into the ORs with the fellow or staff; we just manage the floors.  So of course, my fellow asked the first day if I wanted to go into the OR.  Heck, no.

One last thing that really irked me was my fellow asking me do help with discharge summary.  PAs used to do it but they are so overwhelmed that the fellows are now doing them.  My lovely fellow asked me do it but our instructions specifically said that we are not do them since they have to include surgical info since we don't participate in those.  I almost got into an argument with my fellow over this.  I don't know how many times I have to stand up to him because of the inappropriate things he had asked me to do. Ugh.

Other than my fellow, my staff warmed up to me and really trusted me with her patients about the 2nd week. She would specifically page me before she rounds and asked me to do pain management at my discretion with some of her patients.  She also sent me short emails letting me know that she thinks I'm doing well.  She wrote a good eval to my program chair at the end.  I just felt that I haven't done anything different for any other patients or staff.  I guess I'm glad that my attitude paid off.

Overall, this was an exhausting 3 weeks. I'm glad this is over and that it was during winter, it didn't matter that it was dark coming in or leaving the hospital.

Restaurants to taste

From Diners, Drive-ins and Dives with Guy Fieri

Melt Bar and Grilled - DONE, Yum, stay on my personal list.
13463 Cedar Road, Cleveland Heights, OH
14718 Detroit Ave, Lakewood, OH

Sterle's Slovenian Country House
1401 E 55th Street, Cleveland, OH.

ParkView Nite Club
1261 West 58th Street, Cleveland, OH.

Momocho Mod Mex
1835 Fulton Road, Cleveland, OH.

Lucky's Cafe
777 Starkweather Ave, Cleveland, OH.

Geraci's Restaurant
2266 Warrensville Center Road, Cleveland, OH

ALD (Pulm)

Started this rotation off with Dr. Akindipe and each of us with 3-4 patients to get to know. Fortunately, I already knew the fellow, Mike, so it wasn't too awkward. There is a PA Kathy and NP Melanie. I realize for the past 6 months so far, I have learned to work with NP/PA to help with the workload.

Anyways, the week was nice, round started around 11am and would be cone by 2pm. After that we just update what we need to then we can sign out the NP/PA as long as one of us is around to help with admission/transfers. Even then, that's only until 4:30pm. Not too bad. Mike was hilarious and very entertaining. He pretty much has a comment for every patient, depending who was seeing the patient and what topics we were chatting about.

2nd week, we had Dr. Minai and it was the week before Christmas, which I worked. Schedule was very similar to the previous week as well. Done fairly early, considering that I didn't come in until 8a on most days. But we did change fellow. For the next 2 weeks, it was Fadi. He was good too. He's a little high strung in the sense that he gets easily stressed out.

The 3rd week was when Fadi really stressed out. We were short one resident, and Dr. Chapman was staff. He known to round forever, the never ending rounds. And our list of patients were long too. I think they said that it's the longest they have seen. Our own floors were filled and we had 8 pts spilled over to other 2 units. We starts rounds around noon but still did not finish until around 7pm. I left around 6pm most nights when I finished with my patients. Thankfully, I did not have patients that are at the end of the list. It was exhausting. By the end Fadi have had it and was stressed out. Then I finally got a holiday weekend off. My New Years weekend fun.

Last week was with Dr. Lane and with a brand new fellow, his first time on the service. The fellow was nice but he was learning so there were a little scrambling at times.  But all in all, it was a good week

NYC ... New Years Weekend

Of course the day that I'm supposed to drive to NYC, my car skidded on a patch of black ice right outside my garage then I hi the ice and the curb. My steering wheel was then very shaky and pull to the left. It was ok so I drove anyway, but I did call my auto shop and made any appt to go in Monday to get it fixed.

The weekend was fun, spent it with my mistress (Kirstin) again. I got in Thurs night, so I just crashed. This was the weekend after NYC got the crazy amount of snow, about 3ft worth. CNN was reporting how it would take ambulance at least 2 hours to respond due to the fact that the roads weren't plowed. One tragic story was of a woman delivering the baby at home cuz she wasn't able to get to the hospital and the infant died because the ambulance couldn't get to her after delivery. Another tragic story was a father had heart attack and died and it would take ambulance 2.5 hrs to get to the apt and another 2 hrs to get the ER and it was too dangerous for the daughter to drive as well. Tragic stories. Wonder if the city is now more prepared?

Anyways, Friday, we looked up places that don't need too much covers to get in. All the one around Time Square are at least $60 cover just to get in. The no cover ones would probably be way too crowded. We weren't really looking to bar hop since it was just too darn cold. Ended up in Tonic East, only $10. Not bad. We had fun, drinks and dance. Had a couple of guys dancing with us and one of them literally decided to get us drunk, just kept on buying us drinks. I'm glad that I was still coherent enough to watch my drinks. I think I was fairly drunk that night. Definitely couldn't walk straight at all and ended up totally sleeping on the train ride back. haha. Didn't even realize it was midnight until people were screaming "One minute!!" then countdown "10...9...8... 3...2...1" It was fun, enjoyed myself. Now I can officially say, I have done SF and NYC for New Years, 2009 and 2010.

For New Years Day, called home, kind of dozing in and out since my stomach was upset with me because I didn't eat my drunk food after we came back. Kept wanting to throw up but not much ever came up. Oh well. Then we just kind of vegged out, playing Wii and watched movies. Were planning on going again with Kirstin's buddies from work for her B-Day, but no on was really up for it so we just stayed in. Had the best pizza, Joe's. NY pizzas are the best, still couldn't find anyone else that rivals theirs. I was actually craving for NY pizzas. haha.

Decided for Sun, we'll go into Chinatown for dim sum and shopping for what nots. Found Vegetarian Dim Sum House, across the street from Joe's Shanghai. It was actually pretty good. The only thing I didn't like was the shumai. We both acutally like the shrimp/pork shumai. The vegetarian version of it just didn't taste right. Everything else we ordered was pretty good. Totally forgot how cheap the food was in Chinatown. Then we went in search for grocery market. Found Hong Kong Market, a fairly clean and formal one. I bought few fruits to take home with me and introduced Kirstin to various fruits and spices and food. She was in food heaven. Her mom would totally be jealous. Love introducing Chinese food to people who actually likes it and would get a kick out of it. Then we went to bakery, Fay Da. It's ok. Not bad, tolerable for being in US. I still like the one my family goes to in SF. BUT no one can beat the ones in Taiwan and HK. Those are the best. Overall it was a productive Sunday.

I drove back afterwards. The drive was long and boring, especially the Penn stretch.

Got my car checked out on Monday. Yep, tires replaced and rim as well, apparently I bent the rim pretty badly and they couldn't hammer it back out. Oh well.

Reflections ... Ringing in 2012

2011 has been good and bad for me.  Started the year off with major seasonal depression, the worst winter blues I've ever had. But in the midst of it, I gained a good friend Angel who was willing to satisfy to urge for going out to restaurants.  I lend her my listening ears and in return I get company, a good swap I believed.  My biggest problem then was finding a good fit in a church that I could call home.  I was going to Parkside for awhile but found that it was too big, not really what I'm looking for.  But I also know that CCCC was not where I should be even though I couldn't really give a good reason for it until now. So I was church hopping for a couple of months and then I finally just stopped some time during the summer.  I did participated in an intense "spiritual boot camp" where I feel more and more that what I'm looking for is not here in Cleveland but I need a place for my spiritual growth.  That's going to be a problem.  At the same time, my Ca 1 year got going where it's the beginning where you are by yourself in the ORs and determines whether you sink or swim.  On top of that I have to juggle reading/studying time into the daily schedule.  Also, finally found someone who would be willing to work with me with my crazy symptoms of hypothyroid but labs said otherwise. With all this, I felt like this has truly been one of my lowest year yet and felt like emotionally stalled.  I don't know when my bright outlook will come back but hoped the 2012 will bring some energy back into my life.

With my grandmother's death not too long ago, realized life needs to be fun, enjoyed to the maxed, because if we wait, there's no guarantee that we will get to do what we've always wanted to do.  I feel like everyone should have a list of things that are must do but they have to things that we would normally not do.

I'm determined to accomplish something in my life, therefore, only 5 resolutions chosen.

Resolutions for 2012:
1. lose 30lbs - good eating and exercise
2. be consistent in quiet times
3. pick a church to attend 2x a month
4. be good about calling home 1-2x a week
5. be mindful of budgeting and put away savings for my next big trip

See you again 12/31/12!  Hopefully all will be checked off.