As I was walking in from the garage to the hospital's locker room to change, I started thinking about being perceived as a physician from appearance and thinking myself as one. I'm still struggling with that even now after several months of residency and years of med school prep.
The biggest problem for me is that I don't feel like I'm a physician and that I'm too young for this kind of job, but in reality, most people my age has already been working for several years. My thing is that I actually don't want my first impression with people to be a physician, so I tend to dress fairly casual most of the time, not grungy. I only tell people what I do when I'm asked specifically. It's a ingrained in me since high school that I don't tell people exactly what I do right away because my own extended family has gotten jealous before and would try to put me down. This is just what I do to protect myself but in a way I think that's just silly as well. I am confident in what I do but it's just I don't want to come off as intimidating to new people that I meet. Truthfully, my being a female physician does seem to intimidate a lot of people that I have come across. I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm usually pretty quiet with new people too.
Someone once asked me if I would do this again. Maybe, especially with this environment with the healthcare system. Now more and more the careers of NP, PA ad CRNA seem to be good options as well. But I don't think I'm willing to give up my right to power and in control of my career. So truthfully, to choose this career again would need to give me a huge incentive. Sometimes I just find it not worth the years, effort and debt I put in to, but most of the times, it's a fairly satisfying career. We shall see where God leads me with the career.
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