As I was walking in from the garage to the hospital's locker room to change, I started thinking about being perceived as a physician from appearance and thinking myself as one. I'm still struggling with that even now after several months of residency and years of med school prep.
The biggest problem for me is that I don't feel like I'm a physician and that I'm too young for this kind of job, but in reality, most people my age has already been working for several years. My thing is that I actually don't want my first impression with people to be a physician, so I tend to dress fairly casual most of the time, not grungy. I only tell people what I do when I'm asked specifically. It's a ingrained in me since high school that I don't tell people exactly what I do right away because my own extended family has gotten jealous before and would try to put me down. This is just what I do to protect myself but in a way I think that's just silly as well. I am confident in what I do but it's just I don't want to come off as intimidating to new people that I meet. Truthfully, my being a female physician does seem to intimidate a lot of people that I have come across. I'm sure it doesn't help that I'm usually pretty quiet with new people too.
Someone once asked me if I would do this again. Maybe, especially with this environment with the healthcare system. Now more and more the careers of NP, PA ad CRNA seem to be good options as well. But I don't think I'm willing to give up my right to power and in control of my career. So truthfully, to choose this career again would need to give me a huge incentive. Sometimes I just find it not worth the years, effort and debt I put in to, but most of the times, it's a fairly satisfying career. We shall see where God leads me with the career.
Friday, March 25, 2011
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Nighttown ... Taza
So after a day of fellowship and small group workshop at Parkside with Angel and Eric, we went to Nighttown in the Cedar/Fairmount area for their burgers. We each got our own. I had blue cheese with mine and we all had mayo (which I believed it house made) with our fries. It was good, delish, and juicy. I asked for medium well and mine was slightly overcooked. Angel's was perfectly done for medium well, which should still be slight pink but with no raw juice running out. Nonetheless, it is good place for bar burger. Just as we were leaving, they are packed in the sit down area, which I think it's expensive, high end menu, not really my regular fare. I would definitely come back for a quick bit of burger. The ambience is very homey, jazzy feel.
On Sunday, after church, we ate at Taza, Lebanese grill. With Mediterrean restaurants, I always order either gyros or vegetarian cuz they usually have the best vegetarian meals around. So I did the same today, ordered the vegetarian feast with hummous, baba, tabouli and falafel with pita breads. They served the pita bread first with their homemade dipping sauce (balsamic vingerette, olive oil and sesame seeds). They have the normal pita and their own pita which they call it puffy pita (poufs up like naan but with yeast). It was a good pita, wish I could buy in a store. The portion was huge. They only thing I picked on them was that the baba was slightly saltier than I would have liked. But otherwise, the meal was very light and refreshing.
On Sunday, after church, we ate at Taza, Lebanese grill. With Mediterrean restaurants, I always order either gyros or vegetarian cuz they usually have the best vegetarian meals around. So I did the same today, ordered the vegetarian feast with hummous, baba, tabouli and falafel with pita breads. They served the pita bread first with their homemade dipping sauce (balsamic vingerette, olive oil and sesame seeds). They have the normal pita and their own pita which they call it puffy pita (poufs up like naan but with yeast). It was a good pita, wish I could buy in a store. The portion was huge. They only thing I picked on them was that the baba was slightly saltier than I would have liked. But otherwise, the meal was very light and refreshing.
Parkside small group workshop
Parkside held a workshop on small group, how to lead and participated in one.
The first session was about the basics of small group, the purpose of one and the basis of one. Purpose of small group is simple, receive Christ as Lord and live with Christ as Lord. To receive Christ is what it means, salvation to conversion to trust Christ. Small group should do that for unbelievers because of the teaching that transformed lives. To live with Christ is the daily relationship with Christ. This is the fundamentals of the small groups, building relationship to promote the purpose of small group.
The second session was on essentials of small group, which should be Gospel centered and small group should be learning from Bible, praying together, serving each other, evangelism and disseminating information. Gospel should the main ingredient of the small group and it should direct us how to live our lives. Small group should not be special interests focus among the members since it can very easily excluder new comers.
The last session was the practical application of leading small group. The leader should lead the small group to be a faithful shepherd and be a humble servant. Seek out unbelievers (the lost sheep) and serve each other in the small group. Then we had an exercise where we each have a role who are difficult to handle in small group. It just goes to show that even with people that are disruptive within the group, a good leader can turn it to good and enhance the dynamics of the group. Then the finally onto the basic structure of small group and pearls of wisdom.
This workshop really remind me that I need to find my own small group of girls and have weekly meeting where open up ourselves and have each of us hold accountable. It has been since college that I have been in a true small group. Throughout med school, it's only been Kirstin that has really been there for me. So far in Cleveland, it's only been Angel and a little with Sarah. I'm praying that I'll be better plugged in at Parkside here and find my own niche with my own group to hold me accountable. I'm finding that since I've been going to Parkside, I'm having more of burning desire to better my relationship with God and wanting to read and know about Him through Bible.
We met Rosa who sat with us at our table. She regaled us with stories on relationships with what she had seen and experienced. It was very informative. She was the first person that have treated me like a daughter since I've moved to Cleveland. I hope I'll find more older ladies that are willing to be my "mother".
The first session was about the basics of small group, the purpose of one and the basis of one. Purpose of small group is simple, receive Christ as Lord and live with Christ as Lord. To receive Christ is what it means, salvation to conversion to trust Christ. Small group should do that for unbelievers because of the teaching that transformed lives. To live with Christ is the daily relationship with Christ. This is the fundamentals of the small groups, building relationship to promote the purpose of small group.
The second session was on essentials of small group, which should be Gospel centered and small group should be learning from Bible, praying together, serving each other, evangelism and disseminating information. Gospel should the main ingredient of the small group and it should direct us how to live our lives. Small group should not be special interests focus among the members since it can very easily excluder new comers.
The last session was the practical application of leading small group. The leader should lead the small group to be a faithful shepherd and be a humble servant. Seek out unbelievers (the lost sheep) and serve each other in the small group. Then we had an exercise where we each have a role who are difficult to handle in small group. It just goes to show that even with people that are disruptive within the group, a good leader can turn it to good and enhance the dynamics of the group. Then the finally onto the basic structure of small group and pearls of wisdom.
This workshop really remind me that I need to find my own small group of girls and have weekly meeting where open up ourselves and have each of us hold accountable. It has been since college that I have been in a true small group. Throughout med school, it's only been Kirstin that has really been there for me. So far in Cleveland, it's only been Angel and a little with Sarah. I'm praying that I'll be better plugged in at Parkside here and find my own niche with my own group to hold me accountable. I'm finding that since I've been going to Parkside, I'm having more of burning desire to better my relationship with God and wanting to read and know about Him through Bible.
We met Rosa who sat with us at our table. She regaled us with stories on relationships with what she had seen and experienced. It was very informative. She was the first person that have treated me like a daughter since I've moved to Cleveland. I hope I'll find more older ladies that are willing to be my "mother".
Thursday, March 17, 2011
B Spot
One of Michael Symon's 3 restaurants, very casual burger spot.
It was one of those days where I finished work earlier and I went without lunch. So I decided to go to B Spot for a burger. I ordered Shroomage and Lola fries. The burger has a huge portabella mushroom with some cheese and onions on top of the burger. The patty is not one of those thin ones, it was meaty, thick patty. It was just a little too salty for me. I added their pickled onions and pepper and their red pepper sauce. Very good gourmet burger. The Lola fries is okay, not my favorite. It just wasn't crunchy enough but it did have good rosemary flavor.
I have yet to try the vanilla bacon apple shake. I have been told that it is good despite it's weird name. We shall see. It's definitely one to go back when I get my occasional burger craving.
It was one of those days where I finished work earlier and I went without lunch. So I decided to go to B Spot for a burger. I ordered Shroomage and Lola fries. The burger has a huge portabella mushroom with some cheese and onions on top of the burger. The patty is not one of those thin ones, it was meaty, thick patty. It was just a little too salty for me. I added their pickled onions and pepper and their red pepper sauce. Very good gourmet burger. The Lola fries is okay, not my favorite. It just wasn't crunchy enough but it did have good rosemary flavor.
I have yet to try the vanilla bacon apple shake. I have been told that it is good despite it's weird name. We shall see. It's definitely one to go back when I get my occasional burger craving.
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
::Transit::
Parkside's large group mostly for young adults. I've been wanting to try out the fellowship since the first time I've visited Parkside. My only issue is that it's on Wed night and with my work schedule, a lot of the times, I'm really exhausted by dinner time and I would passed out sleeping on my couch.
So this week, I've finally made it since I wasn't feeling sleepy at all. I got there and I got a surprise. Vince was there too. Totally was not expecting another Asian there, especially someone I know. The service was good. Worship was thoroughly touching especially when I connect more with music. I totally feel like it's some place where I can stay and sing my heart out for worship.
The message was short but thorough. Now they are going through John. It's such a good reminder of who Jesus is and what he did for us to save us from the world. I just wish if the message was just slightly longer, maybe 10-15min, but overall it was still very refreshing for a midweek service.
I'm going to try really hard to make it on Wed nite and try to meet more people there and get plugged in. My goal for the year is to get plugged in.
So this week, I've finally made it since I wasn't feeling sleepy at all. I got there and I got a surprise. Vince was there too. Totally was not expecting another Asian there, especially someone I know. The service was good. Worship was thoroughly touching especially when I connect more with music. I totally feel like it's some place where I can stay and sing my heart out for worship.
The message was short but thorough. Now they are going through John. It's such a good reminder of who Jesus is and what he did for us to save us from the world. I just wish if the message was just slightly longer, maybe 10-15min, but overall it was still very refreshing for a midweek service.
I'm going to try really hard to make it on Wed nite and try to meet more people there and get plugged in. My goal for the year is to get plugged in.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Birthday weekend ...
Weekend arrived thinking that I just might end up spending my birthday by myself again. But Lord was great, provided me company so I'm not lonely and actually develop deeper friendships in Cleveland.
Started the weekend off with Le Petit Triangle Cafe for brunch with Hee-Jeong and Erika, girls I met in Chinese church but they are non-Chinese. It was good times. I don't think I have laughed as much or as hard since I've been in Cleveland. The two of them are quite a pair. Random thoughts connected, random comments with no filter, friendly abuse and most of all, I felt like they are people that I can have fun random hang out. Needless to say, the food wa awesome. This is a French cafe and they have crepes, my all time favs. I've always had chocolate crepes but decided to try their chicken cheddar chutney crepes. Oh my, yummy to the nth power!
Started the weekend off with Le Petit Triangle Cafe for brunch with Hee-Jeong and Erika, girls I met in Chinese church but they are non-Chinese. It was good times. I don't think I have laughed as much or as hard since I've been in Cleveland. The two of them are quite a pair. Random thoughts connected, random comments with no filter, friendly abuse and most of all, I felt like they are people that I can have fun random hang out. Needless to say, the food wa awesome. This is a French cafe and they have crepes, my all time favs. I've always had chocolate crepes but decided to try their chicken cheddar chutney crepes. Oh my, yummy to the nth power!
Later, I had my girl date with Angel at Paladar. Its's a Latin restaurant with more of Cuban flavor. We decided to share our dinner, which was fine by me since I had such a yummy brunch earlier. For appetizer, we had chorizo and cheese papusa. It was good, chorizo and cheese stuffed between plantains and corn cakes with spicy tomato sauce. You can actually taste every single flavor in it. For entree we shared the roasted chicken mole. The chicken was tender and was served with fried plantains and mole sauce over rice. The mole sauce was slightly different than what I have tasted before, not my very favorite but still yummy nonetheless. For dessert, we had their flan. Wow, that definitely was the hi-light. It was creamy and couldn't taste the egg taste that's common with flan. Overall, would definitely come back for other tastes. I want to try their guacamole since they have different flavor base on the chef's inspiration.
After dinner, we went to Wickliffe bowling lane with other people from church and bowl for 3 games, as there was a special going with 3 games and shoes for $10. Let's just say, I sucked. My highest was 89 and my scores just got progressively worse over the next 2 games. I did have fun though, trying to learn to spin the ball. What a sight that was. Also I came home with a broken thumb nail. Owie. Oh well, will just be 2 weeks before it'll be fixed. Time change too, spring forward. So tired, losing an hour of sleep, but worth it.
After Parkside church on Sunday, me and Angel went to McCormick and Schmick for lunch and Mitchell's ice cream after we walked around the mall for a little bit to see if there was anything eye catching. McCormick and Schmick's is good seafood restaurant. I had the crab and shrimp melt, a little saltier that I would have liked but yummy, delish. Just couldn't tell if the crab meat for fresh or canned. Mitchell's as always, just absolute dreamy.
So for my actual birthday, it was a Monday so I had to work but I did get myself my family version of traditional birthday dinner. My family always celebrated birthday with a seafood galore with noodles, with both, it usually means more than enough blessings and longevity. Then we would have an Asian French style cake. So for myself, I got dinner from Wonton Gourmet (Sichuan fish and chicken pan fried noodle) and mini tiramisu cake from KoKo bakery. It was good enough for myself but really wished I had my mom's homemade dinner. It will have to do until I can get home to my mom's birthday dinner.
Monday, March 07, 2011
Oreintation pt 1
Started my official 1st month of anesthesia training, which is looking more like shadowing senior residents having them show us how OR is set up, the basic day to day functions and just get some basic experiences with procedures.
I had a really good senior for the first half of the month, getting me started. He was really helpful, telling all the little bits of info that he wished someone had told before. Then had another one that basically let me know try various techniques and procedures and having me try to be in a room by myself. With them, I had seen some crazy airway cases and icu transfers even the staff were saying that it was not a room for orienting intern. Oh well. It was fun.
Next week, we will be starting with 1 to 1 with staff and they may just leave us alone only with a little more supervision and then our own with with senior staffing 2 rooms. Can't wait and see how well that will go.
I had a really good senior for the first half of the month, getting me started. He was really helpful, telling all the little bits of info that he wished someone had told before. Then had another one that basically let me know try various techniques and procedures and having me try to be in a room by myself. With them, I had seen some crazy airway cases and icu transfers even the staff were saying that it was not a room for orienting intern. Oh well. It was fun.
Next week, we will be starting with 1 to 1 with staff and they may just leave us alone only with a little more supervision and then our own with with senior staffing 2 rooms. Can't wait and see how well that will go.
Sunday, March 06, 2011
Parkside part II
Tried out Parkside church again. Tried it once a couple months ago, and it wasn't Alistair Beggs speaking. But I just felt a little lost and I think at the point I was hoping that the Chinese church would work out as well as the one in Jersey had for me.
This time, I really liked it. Pastor Beggs' sermon was intense, about the sanctuary/temple which God has entrusted to us to care for. I just haven't had an intense sermon like his in a long time, probably since my time at JMac's church when I was at UCLA. It was totally inspiring, really want me to re-build my relationship with God and really trust Him for his plans for me here in Cleveland. By the end of the sermon, I felt peace for the first time since moving to Cleveland. It's almost like I have come to a place where I can see myself grow and not be anxious about what would happen next, waiting for me.
I'm going to really try to put Wed's large group into my schedule and make it a weekly thing.
This time, I really liked it. Pastor Beggs' sermon was intense, about the sanctuary/temple which God has entrusted to us to care for. I just haven't had an intense sermon like his in a long time, probably since my time at JMac's church when I was at UCLA. It was totally inspiring, really want me to re-build my relationship with God and really trust Him for his plans for me here in Cleveland. By the end of the sermon, I felt peace for the first time since moving to Cleveland. It's almost like I have come to a place where I can see myself grow and not be anxious about what would happen next, waiting for me.
I'm going to really try to put Wed's large group into my schedule and make it a weekly thing.
ITE as PGY 1
Wow. In-Training Exam. Felt really dumb as I walked out the room. Oh, well, I'm glad that this is the first one and I can just keep on improving year after year. There are some questions that I knew the answers to cuz somebody just by chance told me about it. But realized there are so much reading to be done.
Alrighty, Jia Yo!!!
Afterwards, our program had a post ITE celebration at Bier Markt. It was nice to see other people from other classes and to see some of the staff as well. But there just wasn't a lot people. And we still kind of hang out with the same people that we know. Maybe eventually I'll get adventurous and get to know other people.
Alrighty, Jia Yo!!!
Afterwards, our program had a post ITE celebration at Bier Markt. It was nice to see other people from other classes and to see some of the staff as well. But there just wasn't a lot people. And we still kind of hang out with the same people that we know. Maybe eventually I'll get adventurous and get to know other people.
Friday, March 04, 2011
Fracas
It's a gastropub in Coventry. I drive past it everyday to and from work and it's newly opened. Angel and I decided to venture out and try out this place.
Let's just say, I would not come back. The ambience is nice. It's in an old theater with stage and they had a Jazz band playing later that night. It's set up like what I would imagined a lounge/dinner place would be like. The food just doesn't have the flair, nothing really spectacular. It's the typical American fare. We had the chips and dip for appetizer. Props for the kettle chips but the dip was a little too ordinary and salty. I got the pumpkin bisque which was good. I can never turn down pumpkin or squash bisque, a new habit that I've found myself liking more as I get older. For main, I got the Grouper BLT. It's interesting but I would not get another BLT. It mostly just taste like someone dumped a bottle of salt into the sandwich. The grouper was slightly overcooked, not very tender. So overall, would not visit again.
But the night was salvaged but my chatting time with Angel. She's been busy and I have in and out of town over the holidays, so it was the first real catch. Realized we are very similar in a lot of our choices and what we wanted in our lives. I really hoped she would stay in Cleveland for CRNA school. I really think that God has put us together for a reason. She's going through a hard time and I'm just not very happy with where I am currently, just haven't really found my niche. So with her, I'm going to make the switch to Parkside and see how it goes. I think unintentionally, we both decide to make this weekly happening, us trying out a new restaurant.
Let's just say, I would not come back. The ambience is nice. It's in an old theater with stage and they had a Jazz band playing later that night. It's set up like what I would imagined a lounge/dinner place would be like. The food just doesn't have the flair, nothing really spectacular. It's the typical American fare. We had the chips and dip for appetizer. Props for the kettle chips but the dip was a little too ordinary and salty. I got the pumpkin bisque which was good. I can never turn down pumpkin or squash bisque, a new habit that I've found myself liking more as I get older. For main, I got the Grouper BLT. It's interesting but I would not get another BLT. It mostly just taste like someone dumped a bottle of salt into the sandwich. The grouper was slightly overcooked, not very tender. So overall, would not visit again.
But the night was salvaged but my chatting time with Angel. She's been busy and I have in and out of town over the holidays, so it was the first real catch. Realized we are very similar in a lot of our choices and what we wanted in our lives. I really hoped she would stay in Cleveland for CRNA school. I really think that God has put us together for a reason. She's going through a hard time and I'm just not very happy with where I am currently, just haven't really found my niche. So with her, I'm going to make the switch to Parkside and see how it goes. I think unintentionally, we both decide to make this weekly happening, us trying out a new restaurant.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)