ResCU

Just finished the month of ResCU.  It's a special unit where people who needed a little longer time to get off the vent completely.  Patients usually either had lung transplant or some underlying lung disease.  Some of them has been in the hospital for months.  There's one on our list that has been here since Oct.  The most painful part of it all is writing discharge summary for them when they leave either to LTAC or rehab.  Because of the length of time that they stay in the hospital and that sometimes you would spend the month taking care of them, you get attached, especially the younger ones cuz you know that they have a better chance to leave the hospital walking.

Overall, it's a good rotation to learn about the ventilator since patients are usually long term with not much of acute issues going on.  Everyday is pretty much the same with minor adjustment for work.

freaky little pic

If you wear glasses, just take off your glasses.

Feeling of Cleveland ... 1st year

This has definitely been my most miserable year.  The job/work has been ok, most of the time I actually enjoy my work.  The part of my life that's been a downer is the living in Cleveland part.

This all started with the fact I moved to Cleveland for residency and that was not my top choice, so in my mind, I didn't fully accept the decision probably until October that I'm here for 4 years. I was in denial in May and June when I first moved out here, but I still went out trying to have fun and meet other interns.  I didn't really find anyone that I clicked with or people that I would like to hang out away from the hospital. By October, the winter has arrived already with the gloomy gray skies.  What I was not expecting was the lack of sun for the entire winter and that the entire winter goes from mid October to April. I knew that I've SAD but I didn't know that I would be in the worst depression that I've every experienced.  I changed my vitamin to get more vit D, but it irritated my stomach, so I had to change it again.  My mood didn't change much.

The fact that I was working over the holidays didn't help, so I went to visit Kirstin.  That help a little but it only made me realize that I really don't belong here in Cleveland.  Other residents say that Cleveland would grow on you, but I really don't think it ever will.  At this, I met Angel and really got to know her as she's going through hard times, so that kind of gave me a different focus, but it didn't last long for my attention span.  I soon got mildly annoyed with her problem, but she was someone that I clicked with.  She was applying for CRNA school and got accepted to one in Florida, which she will be going in Dec if all goes well.  So I'm already trying to distance myself, not getting too attach so I won't be too disappointed when she leaves.

Then I got sucked into the SICU, which was even more depressing with the work load, call schedules and just the ICU madness.  I'm feeling down is not really work related, it's more due to the fact that I don't have anyone in Cleveland that checks up on when I don't show up to church or small groups in a while or someone for me to fall back on to just talk or rant.  I visited Kirstin again this time, and I could tell the difference, I was much more quieter with her, not my usual loud crazy self.  I then realize that this can't keep going.

Now, I'm at the point where I'm very close to asking someone from work to write me a Rx for wellbutrin for short term to just fight this off.  I also got to talking to Eddy and David, so hopefully I'll be able to find a relief through them.  I just feel frustrated with the low moods that I'm feeling, most of the time, I just want to sleep more, and eat more of my comfort food.

I really want to beat this. Please God, help me.