Christmas 2011

I got a suprising long weekend for the holiday than originally planned, but didn't find out early enough so that I could've bought tix to go home. Oh well.  So I ended up having Fri to Tuesday off.  I spent Friday grocery shopping for the Christmas dinner and boy were the lines there long and slow.  It seemed like everyone was there with a big basket full of food.  I didn't have that much so I stood in self check out line but the ladies checking out were really slow, it's almost like they didn't know how to use the machine. They kept having the help sign flashing and I think it took them 20min to finish from what I saw but they've  already finished 3/4 then.  Ridiculous.

On Saturday, Christmas Eve, I made the dinner. Menu was Slow cooker turkey, Mexican corn, green bean casserole and mashed potatoes.  Other people brought drinks and desserts.  It was good.  I would have to tweaked the green bean casserole for the next time and make less of mashed potatoes.  The Mexican corn was a keeper and that's the only new recipe for my experiment.  Nonetheless, my first Christmas dinner!


Spent the rest of Saturday chatting and watching TV with the girlfriend that stayed over.  All good times.

Sunday was Christmas and we had breakfast, eggnog waffle, then went to Parkside's service.  Made me realized how much I actually missed going to church.  It felt soothing to be there. There came home and had left over for lunch.

We did make plans to go to Crocker Park on Monday for lunch and shopping but come Monday, just didn't feel like it. I just felt like vegging out so I did for Monday and Tuesday.  It was a lot of time spent on my couch just chilling out and watching TV, saw a few Christmas movies.

Christmas Movies List:
Polar Express
Miracle of 34th Street
Home Alone series

Ca 1 year update

This is just a quick update of life in residency since July, starting my Ca 1 year.  This is the year where I'll start spending my time in the ORs.  It's been good so far, some routine cases and some crazier ones.  Calls have been good, busy during daytimes but question whether surgical teams really know the definition of emergency.  I've had a couple true emergency but most of the cases during weekend calls were not really emergency.  Definitely learned a little about other subspecialty areas that will get more in depth next year.

No complaints overall, enjoying my time being busy at times.  Only wish I could figure out reading daily after being exhausted from work and also squeezing time for exercising and doctors' appts.

Thanksgiving 2011

This year was very low-key. I spent it with a family that I met not too long ago and the wife, Melissa, is also my endocrinologist.  I didn't have to work the day of and had very light day before and after. We just had dinner and just chatted about random things.   Also got to play with their 2 little girls, absolutely adorable. They are definitely a family that I don't mind hanging out with again.  Dinner was actually yummy. They had their food delivered from a grocery store and all they did was heated up.  The cranberry sauce, mashed potato, turkey and stuffing were good.  Corn souffle was a maybe but the green bean was a no.  But it was still enjoyable cuz of the company.

The one thing I was happy was that I finally get to make another apple pie, except this time, I changed it to crumbled and used a combination of granny smith and fuji apples. It was yummy. Friends at dinner enjoyed it too. It wasn't too sweet but it definitely needed another apple in the mix.

Grand Cayman

Spent a week on the island.  It was my vacay before the dreary winter starts.  This was the end of the rainy season but before the tourist season.  It was as wonderful as I expected.  There were good and bad days.  The week started off rainy but we got good walks on the beach in, good time just reading and doing nothing but relaxing and getting re-acquainted with each other again.  The sunny days were spent on the beach, island tour and also sting ray city/sandbar with snorkeling.  The nights were spent having yummy food (totaly sabotaged my diet, oh well) and alcholic beverages and hanging out at the beach bar next door.  Mudslides became the drink of choice most of the time and definitely learn that me and Irish Bailey's and whiskey really don't agree, found a Ben Stiller look alike as bartender, getting some creative free drinks. Also participated in a hypnosis show one night, one of those things that I'm not sure I'll do again.  Of course, we went to Hell.  :)

The girls were great, caught up with Kirstin and Krista and got to know Gretchen (Kirstin's childhood friend).  I think by the end of the trip, we agreed that we should totally do something like this again.  I think the talk is somewhere close for next year and possibly Cuba the year after.  So far just talks, we'll see how much of it will come true.

Here's some pics

Beloved Grandmother

I feel like I should feel more about my grandmother's passing but I don't.  Then I started thinking about the reason behind it. I realized that I was never particularly close to her, unlike the way I was with my mom's mom.  I think by the time that I had any consistent relationship with her I was already in high school and that was the time when we had more problems with my dad's side.  I'm sure she was proud of all her grandkids but I could who she favors more and that she wants to know more about their lives.  Part of it was also my fault in that I just didn't open up to her.  I understand it's a quirky trait of mine that it's hard for me to open up to people.  She lived a long life where she did a lot of amazing things, opened up herself to enjoy life.  That's the one thing I'll always remember her for.

Rest in peace, ma-ma.

passed Oct 13, 2011
wake Oct 21, 2011
funeral Oct 22, 2011

English Obituary

Chinese Obituary

First month as Ca-1

First month of GenA, straight out of orientation with 3 months of gap away from anesthesia.

Wow, What a month!!  The first week was like a deer in the headlight for me.  I gotta figure out what it going on and where is what since everything is pretty new. Boy, was I nervous for being on my own.  There's almost no hand holding, it's pretty much sink or swim.  I'm glad I have the personality of just letting everything flow and see where all things go and arrange it as it fits then.  Otherwise, I would be super duper stressed.  The first week, cases weren't that extreme but then they scheduled me a couple of times to the ambulatory center where it's a different system.  It's like starting to adjust and gotta re-adjust again.

Throughout the month, I got some days that are difficult in the sense that the cases and patients were more complicated.  They had me do craniotomy scheduled, whipple and stroke (on-call).  It's been a fast learning curve.  I was just happy that on those days, my staff were nice and more than willing to teach and lend a hand.

Got 4 calls for the month.  It's not bad at all cuz our calls right now fall under the new intern rule where it can't be more 16hrs of work day.  I'm also generally a white cloud and the bad calls would usually consist of being busy early on then when it's bedtime, it's quiet. So generally I get almost a good night sleep with hours. But we all know that we usually are still in the light sleep where we have an ear out for our pager going off.

Home for the holiday/wedding

I finally got to go home to Cali and it has been over a year.  The last time was right after graduation.  The vacation started off with going to my cousin's wedding.  It was a beautiful wedding, fairly extravagant with all the work and pomp, but at the same time very homey cuz they had people from church help them.  The reception was very elaborate as well.

Rhys & Flora Wedding

Had a good time. But for my own wedding, I'm more for something smaller and simpler.  This is just too much work, even for me attending it. But nonetheless, it was beautiful and elegant.

The rest of my time was spent at home, just enjoying my parents and my goofy brother.

ResCU

Just finished the month of ResCU.  It's a special unit where people who needed a little longer time to get off the vent completely.  Patients usually either had lung transplant or some underlying lung disease.  Some of them has been in the hospital for months.  There's one on our list that has been here since Oct.  The most painful part of it all is writing discharge summary for them when they leave either to LTAC or rehab.  Because of the length of time that they stay in the hospital and that sometimes you would spend the month taking care of them, you get attached, especially the younger ones cuz you know that they have a better chance to leave the hospital walking.

Overall, it's a good rotation to learn about the ventilator since patients are usually long term with not much of acute issues going on.  Everyday is pretty much the same with minor adjustment for work.

freaky little pic

If you wear glasses, just take off your glasses.

Feeling of Cleveland ... 1st year

This has definitely been my most miserable year.  The job/work has been ok, most of the time I actually enjoy my work.  The part of my life that's been a downer is the living in Cleveland part.

This all started with the fact I moved to Cleveland for residency and that was not my top choice, so in my mind, I didn't fully accept the decision probably until October that I'm here for 4 years. I was in denial in May and June when I first moved out here, but I still went out trying to have fun and meet other interns.  I didn't really find anyone that I clicked with or people that I would like to hang out away from the hospital. By October, the winter has arrived already with the gloomy gray skies.  What I was not expecting was the lack of sun for the entire winter and that the entire winter goes from mid October to April. I knew that I've SAD but I didn't know that I would be in the worst depression that I've every experienced.  I changed my vitamin to get more vit D, but it irritated my stomach, so I had to change it again.  My mood didn't change much.

The fact that I was working over the holidays didn't help, so I went to visit Kirstin.  That help a little but it only made me realize that I really don't belong here in Cleveland.  Other residents say that Cleveland would grow on you, but I really don't think it ever will.  At this, I met Angel and really got to know her as she's going through hard times, so that kind of gave me a different focus, but it didn't last long for my attention span.  I soon got mildly annoyed with her problem, but she was someone that I clicked with.  She was applying for CRNA school and got accepted to one in Florida, which she will be going in Dec if all goes well.  So I'm already trying to distance myself, not getting too attach so I won't be too disappointed when she leaves.

Then I got sucked into the SICU, which was even more depressing with the work load, call schedules and just the ICU madness.  I'm feeling down is not really work related, it's more due to the fact that I don't have anyone in Cleveland that checks up on when I don't show up to church or small groups in a while or someone for me to fall back on to just talk or rant.  I visited Kirstin again this time, and I could tell the difference, I was much more quieter with her, not my usual loud crazy self.  I then realize that this can't keep going.

Now, I'm at the point where I'm very close to asking someone from work to write me a Rx for wellbutrin for short term to just fight this off.  I also got to talking to Eddy and David, so hopefully I'll be able to find a relief through them.  I just feel frustrated with the low moods that I'm feeling, most of the time, I just want to sleep more, and eat more of my comfort food.

I really want to beat this. Please God, help me.